August 15, 2024
by Marinel Condino
Ever since elementary school, I always aimed to be at the top. Not that I want that in the first place, but it is always what my parents want. Well, as a child who seeks attention from her parents, it’s usually to prove something to them. At night when everyone lulls themselves to sleep, I am fully awake. Just staring blankly at the ceiling, while the dim moonlight is slowly crawling to the four corners of my room, here I am, wondering if I’m doing this to make them proud of me or for myself to prove that I am worthy to be proud of.
I’m in college now, and as I was busy paving my way to survive, I noticed that I was being left out. Everyone’s in a fast phase, winning an award, receiving certifications, and excelling academically; yet here I am, still struggling to live up to my parents’ expectations. How can I tell them that their child who was once an achiever, was now just a burned-out student? Like I’m living just to survive each day. I feel like a failure who let down everyone who once had high hopes for me, especially that kid I met years ago who made me believe that I could be whoever I wanted to be. To my younger self, I’ll make you proud someday.
I used to be on top; the intelligent one among my siblings, to the point that people would look up to me, but now, I found myself to be the one looking up to them. I felt like a different person now. Drained, and unmotivated. Hoping that one day, I could set the fire ablaze within me and get back on track again. Though I still perform well in academics, it’s not the same as before.
In college, where ‘to pass’ means to survive, I killed myself. I live my life differently. I tried to revive that dying passion inside me. I set a goal for myself, and that’s to become a dean’s lister. Guess what, I may not be a medical student, but it looks like I’m good at reviving things. At the end of the semester, I found myself on cloud nine when I read my name on the list of dean’s list of students. This time, I tried to push my luck, seeing where it would lead me. I immediately emailed Ma’am Camelle Yu of AISAT’s Office of the Student’s Affairs to ask for an academic discount since I’m a DL (dean’s lister) student, and unfortunately, not all DL students are qualified for an academic discount.
It has come to my attention that if you wish to have an academic discount, you have to abide by the following requirements; First, only Filipino applicants enrolled full-time or maintain at least 20 college units when availing of the scholarship program may apply. Second, applicants who have previously completed a college degree are disqualified from the Academic Scholarship Program. Third, applicants must qualify for the grade requirements. The general weighted average should be 96-100%, with no grade lower than 90%. The discount on tuition fees for this is 100% and there are only 5 available slots. For a general weighted average of 93-95%, no grade lower than 89%, there’s a 75% tuition fee discount and 15 available slots. Lastly, for a general weighted average of 89-92%, no grade lower than 88%, there’s a tuition discount of 50% and an available slot of 20. Fourth, the grant of a scholarship is not a vested right and is valid only for the first semester of the applicant’s academic career in AISAT. Subsequent enjoyment of scholarship privileges shall be applied for under the Academic Achievement Discount. Fifth, any academic scholar who commits a major offense will automatically be disqualified. Sixth, interested applicants shall submit the application form and all required documents to the Head of Student Affairs at least 2 weeks before the start of enrolment for the semester applied for. The required documents are a photocopy of grades from Senior High School, an AISAT Recommendation form signed by the Senior High School Principal or Senior High School Coordinator, a Certificate of Good Moral Character, and an Entrance Exam Result (passed in all areas of the exam)/ IDT Scholarship Certificate.
Opportunities like these are a dime of gold for students who are not born with a silver spoon, like myself. Educational assistance, education to employment scholarship programs, academic achievement discounts, and such are the student’s wings to be able to soar up so high. Having these programs in AISAT is such a great opportunity and to be part of it is truly an honor.
As I end this, I think I have become braver now, I’m starting to forgive myself for all the things I did not become. I may not be that kid who’s always at the top, that kid who seeks her parent’s attention and validation, that kid who dreams of having a future successful self. But, along the way I found happiness, and learned to live for the present. With that, I tell you, especially those who feel pressured, don’t blame yourself for not being someone society dictates you to be. Just be yourself and have your goals fixed, and remember to always acknowledge yourself even without your medals, certifications, and awards.