February 14, 2021
by Zette Saquian
If we look back in time, there is always a reason as to why two people unite as one and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. A reason why people tend to fight for what they believe in and for what they wholeheartedly treasure. A reason that can be so general and vague yet is the most amazing and powerful thing of all. Love is an intense feeling of affection for another person. Though it has many types and ideals, love is still the reason for the union of two hearts and two souls in a Holy Matrimony. Love means commitment, acceptance, understanding, compassion, respect, patience, time, and faithfulness. Love is a feeling that makes you go against the world for the person you hold dear. A feeling that makes you go crazy, but at the same time it is like time just stopped, and the world is just spinning to your accord. A harmony of time and warmth together with the person you love.
As Elvis Presley’s song states: “Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can’t help falling in love with you”, indeed is true. No matter how cold-hearted or conservative you are, when you love someone, everything just seems to fall into place, and that everything you see so foolish and cynical just turns into something you never thought would bring you so much happiness and warmth in your life. No matter how difficult and screwed up a person can be, when they fall in love, they will change for the person they love. A person changes not just because of their partner’s preferences, but because they love them so much that they’ll do anything just to prove their love, to make them happy, and to make them stay. If you love someone, you don’t need a reason to change, you must realize it yourself.
Love isn’t just about “I love you”, not just about physical appearances, and ideals because love is something so difficult to explain yet so familiar and easy to feel. Love is something that can be expressed in many ways, and at different times. It is a universal feeling that no matter how long time passes when you love truly, it will always stay. No matter how difficult things may seem, when you love and trust the person, love will always lead the way. Love isn’t about pretty faces, nice bodies, and wealth. A pretty face will wrinkle in time, a nice body will change, the money will disappear, but true love will always stay.
What does it mean to be in a relationship? There are so many terms to describe what it means to be in a relationship with someone. So many things to consider before being in one. Being in a relationship means love, acceptance, understanding, patience, time, respect, trust, and faithfulness. Let’s talk about these then:
LOVE is the main reason why two individuals get together and choose to stay and cherish each other despite the odds they may be in. Love is the foundation of a relationship because it connects us to many circumstances and reasons as to why two people feel a deep connection to each other.
ACCEPTANCE is the key or a way of valuing and tolerating each other’s differences and similarities. Acceptance is needed in a relationship, especially when it comes to your partner’s traits and past. It’s not easy accepting someone’s past especially when it was entirely unpleasant and messed up, but if you truly love your partner then you have to wholeheartedly accept him/her for who they are, who they were, and who they’re going to be. Accept each other’s flaws and learn to appreciate everything he/she does for you, and slowly grow together and heal each other.
UNDERSTANDING, one of the most important aspects of a relationship. In order to know and handle your partner and relationship properly, you must learn to understand your partner and each other’s circumstances, problems, likes, dislikes, and many more. It is important to understand each other to avoid conflicts and heartbreaks. Most couples tend to have arguments due to misunderstandings which is why if you’re in a relationship, learn to listen and understand your partner, his/her needs, and what makes him/her happy. Understanding each other’s love language is also a must to make things easier to handle in your relationship.
PATIENCE is also important in a relationship. You must learn how to wait for your partner in whatever situation they’re in. Learn how to wait for the odds to be in each other’s favor. Making haste actions and showing impatience may hurt you and your partner, and can cause damage to your relationship. Learn to ride with the pace until both of your paths and fate will intertwine in harmony and trust. Appreciate what they can offer for now, and patiently wait for him/her to grow and change into a better person for himself/herself and for you.
TIME is very crucial in a relationship because time tells how much you can do for your partner and to prove your love for him/her. You need time to communicate, to spend time together, and understand each other. Time is valuable in general and is also in relationships. The more you spend time or give time to your partner, the more you will understand and learn how to handle your relationship. Though spending time is important, you must also learn to respect personal time. Your partner also needs to have time for himself/herself, friends, and family. His/her time doesn’t just tick for you, and you must learn to value personal time as well so that both of you can relax and reflect on things about each other.
RESPECT means recognizing that your partner is a person that has his/her aspirations in life, and not just someone you can take advantage of. You must learn to understand and respect your partner’s decisions and opinions because you may have different perspectives and experiences in life. Respect them if they can’t agree with things that for you are agreeable, and respect them when they say no. Things that may seem alright for you may be uncomfortable and painful for them, so learn to respect each other and appreciate every single thing your partner does for you.
TRUST, in a relationship, doesn’t always mean to have doubts that your partner may cheat or lie to you. Though it may be one of its situations, trust is about being comfortable telling them about yourself even if it’s something so unpleasant. Trusting your partner means being there for him/her when they need you during their tough times and listening and confide with them. To trust your partner means to entrust him/her of your heart and yourself. Trust is the bond that strengthens the relationship which is why both you must learn how to trust each other, especially during difficult times.
Lastly, FAITHFULNESS is the ultimate honest commitment to your partner. Being faithful means being honest and loyal to your partner. It is the key to inner peace and happiness in your relationship. Being faithful is somehow hard for other people, and cheating is always the result. But if you truly love your partner, nothing can ever tempt you to cheat nor lie to your partner. The time you lie to him/her due to personal insignificant reasons is the beginning of unfaithfulness and can lead to pain and suffering for you and your partner. If you love him/her, you will be contented with whatever your partner has to give.
Though love is sweet, it can still bring pain and confusion due to problems that may occur in your relationship. Problems such as unfaithfulness, unacceptance by the family, falling out of love, and many more. Problems can ruin your relationship if not handled properly, but if you want to save your relationship with your partner then you must be ready to risk everything in the name of love. Nowadays, cheating has been rampant. The question is why do people cheat? It can be for revenge or frustration. Revenge-motivated infidelity maybe because he/she was cheated by his/her partner. It is infidelity that is filled with the desire to get even with their partners who wronged them.
As for frustration-motivated infidelity, this type is when an individual is unsatisfied with the relationship he/she is in. They cheat because they found something they were longing for from someone else that their partners couldn’t offer. This type of infidelity is extremely painful for the other party because it’ll feel like they weren’t enough and will make them question their worth. It will make them feel useless and hopeless, slowly tearing them apart. People who tend to cheat tend to make excuses such as “it was just for fun” or “I love my partner, but he/she can’t give me the things I need”. Bottom line, it was the cheater’s fault because, since the beginning, he/she should’ve already realized that their partners have flaws that they must accept. They committed and promised love and faithfulness, but just because of a minor reason, they ended up ruining everything. They say that if you love your partner, you will forgive him/her, but what if he/she does it again and again? Will you be able to forgive him/her every time he/she does it? If your partner was to choose between you and the other person, let him/her choose the other one. Why? Not because you don’t love him, but because you should also know your worth. Let him/her choose the other because if your partner truly loved and accepted you, he/she will never have any reason to cheat. Though this is just a piece of advice, the decision is still up to you on how you will handle such a problem.
Love is complicated at times, but it can also be the reason for hope in your life. If you’re in a relationship and you’re not sure if your partner is the one or not, here are a few signs that may help:
- He/She knows you like the back of his hand. He/She knows everything that makes you happy and will do their best just to make you smile and feel safe.
- He/She goes above and beyond. He/She will do anything to surprise you or just mainly make you feel loved, appreciated, and safe. He/She will make efforts the same as from when you first were together and constantly reassures you to make you feel better.
- He/She keeps you humble. He/She will always make you understand your mistakes and teaches you how to settle things calmly and with ease. Despite being different from each other, both of you can just talk and laugh at your mistakes.
- He/She introduces you to his/her family. Being introduced to your partner’s family is a win because it means that he/she loves and trusts you truly for him/her to be able to introduce you to the family with assurance and ease. Being accepted means his/her family trusts you to love and cherish their child. Being a favorite is an additional score.
- He/She helps you in any way he/she can. He/she is willing to accept who you are and try to motivate you to be the best and helps you find and understand not just him/her, but yourself as well. He/She will always be there to support and guide you.
- He/She will love you unconditionally and will make you feel love like how Christ wants us to feel loved and cherished. He/She will love you and will never be ashamed to tell his/her friends and family about you and how much he/she loves you. He/She will brag about you because he/she is proud of you.
Being in a relationship can be hard and complicated, but if you love your partner then you would do whatever it takes just to see him/her happy and just make everything work. If you want your relationship to work then be sure to accept and understand what it means to be in a real loving relationship. Finding love can be tricky and requires patience and trust, rushing love may result in getting hurt, but lessons can be learned as well. Love is something that you must be willing to wait and fight for. Never rush love, and let time and fate guide you to the one destined to you. Love has many meanings, and it’s up to you how you will define it and whom you will write your love story with.
“True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. It is, on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding.”
– Ellen G. White