October 31, 2021
by James Leonard M. Bautista
It was three in the morning when I found myself tucked in the corner of the room with tears rolling on the side of my worn-down eyes begging for life to not be too cruel.
I decided to finally release myself from the tightness of my sheets and feel the very air that is not coming from my room – my room’s air basically filled with exhaled sadness and feeling of defeat. As I took my first step, my legs trembled in fear. I got scared of moving forward to the extent that even my body rejects and protests what forwarding motion I will be doing.
My life is falling apart right in front of my dimmed perception, yet I vividly see the wound that may seem not look fresh anymore, yet never showed even a single sign of healing.
What fate will life be offering to me? Do all wounds deserve healing? At what point will I realize the essence of learning through failing offers?
Whether or not the purpose is there, while the wound may have lost the pulsating pain it causes, the comments nearly sound cruel and insensitive. We can even hear our own voices saying things to us. Nonetheless, there are times in our lives when we believe our damaged hearts will never mend. We are required to believe that our sorrow will heal despite our pessimism and despair. Although not everyone experiences the same quantity and layers of grief, the majority of people do so at some point throughout their lives. Humanity as a whole has a certain level of shared experience: We all make errors, and that’s fine. I’m hard on myself at times and have high expectations of myself. I frequently find that I put a lot of pressure on myself. Saying no and prioritizing your health is one of the most valuable lessons I’ve ever learned. You can’t always do everything. It’s fine if you’re too exhausted and need a break from time to time. We are human beings, and we require rest. We become exhausted and are unable to complete all tasks. We are humans, and we aren’t flawless, which is fine. Realizing I’m not flawless and can’t accomplish everything changed my life. Perhaps that can provide some comfort — the knowledge that we are not alone in our pain.
In the past, we had only each other assisting us to get through terrible times. I think it can sometimes be difficult to remember that we’re all just people. We all have emotions to cope with, and none of us are faultless. When it comes to emotions, feeling and acting differently than others is fine. Hearing this advice and accepting it was one of the most important lessons I’ve ever received and it has forever transformed my life. It became clear to me that dealing with my emotions in my own unique way is perfectly all right. It’s fine to say no, and it’s also fine to be unable to do so. I got less worried and much happier after coming to terms with everything. I felt better about myself and realized that I was fine the way I was.
Emotional scars are difficult to heal. True. Emotional disorders have symptoms and causes. You can’t put band aids on your feelings. Most of us can assess the severity of a physical injury and predict how much pain another person will experience and how much medical attention they will require. Because details differ from person to person, the grieving process is significantly more complicated. There are, nevertheless, a few parallels that can be seen. Emotional wounds, like physical wounds, have varying degrees of agony. Although the majority of wounds aren’t life-threatening, they can nonetheless be dangerous. The discomfort must be addressed as soon as possible, and this is when emotional first aid enters the picture.
When it comes to emotional suffering, individual characteristics might play a significant effect. It’s crucial how we deal with our emotions. Feelings might shift throughout time, for the better or for the worse. In that sense, it appears as if time is more of a contributor to our emotional suffering than a healer.
Trauma and loss are coupled with deep, complicated emotions. A variety of emotions can be experienced at the same time, at different times, and for varying amounts of time. Grief progresses through several stages which might be exhausting and time-consuming to be able to recognize and accept all of these emotions. When we are unable to accept feelings as they are, they begin to accumulate.
Whether we are mending physically or emotionally, time is of the essence. We’re more sensitive, irritated, and prone to infection. Even though we know better, we may have a habit of picking at open wounds. We must make a conscious effort not to pick at ourselves during periods of emotional recovery, or we will not be able to heal effectively. When we are in this sensitive frame of mind, repeating terrible events or constructing “what-if” scenarios can be very destructive. Throughout the healing process, we must remember to look after ourselves.
Our wounds leave scars no matter how much time passes or how well we heal. Emotional scars can sometimes be unsightly. We may be led down unexpected avenues in our search for answers, some of which might be very perilous. We must ask the questions that will lead us to the most effective solutions. We can think about how time influences our own grief. We have to consider how our perspective might shift. We understand that simply believing something does not make it so. Faith allows us to consider the possibility that something is true. New perspectives bring healing, but they take time to develop. There isn’t a straightforward way to explain it. Time, on the other hand, does not have the ability to do anything. Time is an ambiguous idea. The greatest way to grasp the concept of time is to live it. Similarly, the greatest approach to find out if the time may aid a person’s healing process is for that person to just go through it over time. Emotional pain is a perplexing term, partly due to the lack of absolutes. Maybe something was lost in translation, and the remark now has a special interpretation.
With the strength that one gains in failing, I must say, I preferred not to have my wounds not to be sealed completely. These will be the marks of how I stood up against the challenges being thrown by life. This will be the very reminder that we all grow through the pains and lesions of what path we have chosen to partake. It’s better to leave that special “wound” unsealed as you cross again and retry whatever pits and the rock-stew path you have once traversed. Better leave it open rather than having it closed and opened multiple times and directions – it will hurt you more rather than teach you more.
The wounds might become dry, sooner or later, as scars, but that marks your bravery as a human who, in one way or another, has learned amidst being vulnerable of what harshness life is giving. Some wound that I preferred not to be sealed – it reminds me that it’s alright to feel pain, to fall down, to not feel the best on some days, to not be perfect, to not be flawless… to be human.