Stages of Life: Dealing with Trauma and How to Make Things Right

September 15, 2021

by Zette Saquian

Some say that life is beautiful, mysterious, and challenging, but some would say that it’s unfair, depressing, and terrifying. How a person sees life depicts how he/she is dealing with his/her own life. As we continue to grow and live out our lives, we always go through things that we will never expect to happen. Situations that will either drown us or mold us into something else. Situations where you’ll realize a lot of things that you’ve never thought about, things that would change your perception, mindset, and attitude. These events occur not to disappoint and demotivate, but to help you realize that life is not just about happiness and fun. That life is more than rainbows and sunshine, it’s full of twists and turns that would guide you to become who you’re meant to be, and bring out the best in you. Challenges that will test you and your strength as a person living in this enigmatic world full of mysteries and life-changing events. These challenges may occur in different forms and it’s up to us how we will deal with them effectively and learn from them.

People who haven’t gone through a lot of hardships in life tend to be blind about what really matters and what must be prioritized. Not all, but some. They tend to be dependent on things and situations that they’re so comfortable with without thinking about the possibilities that one day, things may take a different turn. That the things they’re snug about may disappear or change depending on what life wants to teach them. Making them think that life is unfair, that it’s difficult and disappointing, but that’s what life is. It’s supposed to be a lesson and a necessary challenge to change what’s needed to be changed. The problem with people like these is that they think that they can easily just get what they want without thinking how hard it would be. So much dependency leads to irresponsibility and immaturity. People like these should learn to open their eyes and see from a different perspective. Perspectives from people who’ve been through so many hardships, pain, and trauma. People who’ve gone through trauma and difficulties in life are the ones who truly understand and see what life truly means.

 Trauma, defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is a disordered psychic or behavioral state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury. Individuals with trauma tend to see things in life differently. Some would drown in depression and choose to stay in that sorry state, but some would choose to stand up and learn from their experiences. They never let the pain and the trauma stop them from living the life they want. These people know how important things can be, even the smallest things, they tend to see them as something inspiring and motivating despite what they’ve been through. These people are still suffering deep inside, but they don’t let it stop them. They don’t let their trauma guide them into a situation where they’ll suffer more. Instead, they use it as a reminder so that they won’t have to experience the same thing again. Trauma can be anything that they’ve been through. It can be mild or severe, but what matters most is how we will handle that. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s worth trying than giving up. You’ll never know the beauty of life if you’ll just stay locked up in your comfort zones or your sadness.

Trauma is something we didn’t want to experience because it can break us into pieces to the point that it can be impossible to fix, but staying negative just because of what you’ve been through won’t help you rise. If a part of you can’t be fixed, then try your hardest to create a new and better version of what’s lost. You’re never truly lost if you know how to value what matters most in your life. Trauma can make you feel helpless and depressed, but if you can see through it, you will learn that it’s there to help you become stronger and braver than you already are. It guides and lets you see things from a different and realistic perspective. It’s not there to drown you completely, it’s there to teach you if you only know how to see through it and change your mindset. Never compare your experiences to other people because you’ll never know the impact it has on them. If for you it’s something that can be easily handled, for them it’s not, and it’s the same for you. Never judge someone’s experiences just because you were able to handle yours because if you were put in that same situation they’ve been through, are you affirmative that you’ll be able to handle it the way they did? Never compare, instead, learn to validate and understand the fears and traumas of the people around you and trying to reach out to you. Don’t become another reason for them to be fearful of trusting people. Try to become the person that will help them see the beauty of life.

Never settle on the negative side of things because it may be there for a reason. A reason to change you, to guide you, and to save you from things that will further hurt you. Don’t blame yourself because of what you’ve gone through and of the decisions you’ve made because things happen for a reason. It’s okay to grieve and feel the pain but never stay in that situation. Don’t let yourself be consumed by the dark. Always have a reason to keep moving forward, and use those experiences to be better or be the best version of yourself. Never question your worth just because of the things you’ve been through. You are worthy and you are strong. Just keep moving forward. We go through a lot of challenges and pain in our lives, and it’s always up to us how we will handle it. Our family and friends will be there to support us, but at the end of the day, the decision is ours to make.

Always remember that life is full of ups and downs, be prepared to handle and go through the difficulties that will be thrown at you. It’s okay to have fun and enjoy like there’s no tomorrow but keep in mind that you should also be mature enough to handle your responsibilities and the consequences of the fun you’ve chosen. Fun is always there while growing up and realizing things. It’s just how we see things and make the most fun out of them. Don’t let it be a reason for you to stay in that situation where you don’t learn anything. Instead, take a step forward and learn to make things fun despite the challenges you go through. Life is fun if you know how to see it the way it should be.

 

Trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence.
-Peter A. Levine